I am the oddest of birds. Why did the gods created such a one as I?. Can one be born old…old on the inside? And now that I am old on the outside too, what next? Can I get all my Hogwarts homework done? Why don’t I love my characters…I mean why are the girls from the Moon Dust Monastery so hard to write about convincingly? Do I want to teach any more? Why do I write? How important is publication? Must I give up HOL? Why are people so rarely loved as they need to be? How do I carry on and love as best I can despite that? Do I have time to research who Mairi Nighean Alasdair Ruaidh really was, what really happened to her and to play her piobaireachd? Can I afford not to? Why can I not shake off the barghest? Is there no way to foil the Hunt? I wonder if I can get hold of a real horseshoe? How does magic work on Earinna’ar ©? Am I a good son…husband…father…mentor? Why do I dislike Christmas so? Is it possible to, “…honour Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year”? Is it that I do not, “…in the Past, Present and the Future” or that “That the spirits of all three…” do not “…stive within me”? Can we live without turning the house back over the bank? How can we live if we do not? What do I have to look forward to? How can I help those dear to me look forward to something? If this is it; if this is all; how must I see it to live happily? How did I ever fall out of the practice of walking the dogs when I love their company so? How is it so easy to lose the things we love, but it is so hard to take them up again?

This was a good vacation for asking such questions and writing about such things.

I’m looking forward to next December for the sake of the Hobbit. Amazing trailer. I feel they got the song just right.

But before that…

I hope they’re good…I need something to look forward to.